After one month of the Gaza surprise events, I was determined to take a break from watching the horrific news of the bombing of Gaza, its residential sections, schools as well as hospitals. Not even the church was spared where some of the people whom we knew, and were taking refuge at the church got killed. No efforts for the end of the indiscriminate shelling by Israel with the blessing of the USA and its allies made any difference. Israel was determined on “ mowing the lawn” a metaphor used to completely wipe out Gaza.
I had Barbara Kingsolver Small Wonder Essays sitting by my reclining chair for some time now, and had no time for it. So I decided that this would be the best time for me to pick it up.
After the introduction, Barbara takes us through the first small wonder taking place in the hills of Lorestan, a Province of Iran where a small child wandered out of the house without being noticed by the babysitter, and got the whole area searching for him.
The parents and the whole community kept banging the doors of hope until one of those doors opened after three days, and the child was found in a cave curled around by a bear who apparently was lactating and had fed the child.
But the sad news is that Barbara was reading the story of the child and the bear on the same day that she had read the year’s opening on the bombing campaign in Afghanistan.
And here I am reading that story while Gaza is being bombed, but there are no bears to protect those children.
Another cry from a colleague of my daughter in Gaza, the one who had written Dead Man Walking. Please raise your voices against the support of your government to all what is happening in Gaza against innocent civilians. Stop all the bombing and all the suffering . Enough is enough. Samia
Shoulders Must Remain Strong
In Palestinian culture, we are raised on the proverb 'my shoulders are your subsistence and supply; my tears are your water.' The best English translation would be 'lean on me when you’re not strong.'
Having practiced this proverb my whole life, I have come to the conclusion that giving is a greater feeling than receiving. I have always given materially and with an open heart; I have demonstrated love, smiles, and welcoming words and acts. Over the years, this method has been successful; I have been able to outgive my pain and sorrow and affirm my belief that giving is greater, much greater than receiving.
Today, with every breath, I have to deal with the fact that my heart is injured, severely injured, and the possibility that I may no longer be able to give is getting closer and closer. The smell of death lingers and sticks to my clothes. I cannot avoid it.
Before death comes for me, I need to make sure my children's shoulders are strong enough to carry more than just subsistence; they have to carry more than is possible. I need to make sure that they can give and not wait to get back.
I will leave suddenly, and some will remain on my shoulders until the moment I fall apart, and only then will they notice that I am gone and not returning. For those who wish to pour out their stress, anger, frustration, and pain, for those who simply enjoyed talking, please give them all the address of my grave. Tell them I will be listening and crying for their pain. I simply cannot give them a hug.
Until then, I am making my shoulders stronger and wider.
This is the name of a movie from the 90s that starred two actors I like, Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn. The term is used by prison staff, guards, and wardens to describe inmates on death row. Shouts of ‘dead man walking!’ echo through the prison as a cruel reminder to the inmate that their time is limited, execution awaits.
In 1998, I received a scholarship to the University of Minnesota to study human rights, and, for my project proposal, I wanted to learn about programs designed for inmates on death row. In order to develop my proposal, I visited prisons, learned about such programs and watched ‘Dead Man Walking’ several times. I was hoping to learn from the US how to ease the last days, months, and years of these inmates as, finally, they are humans and receiving what the system and society believe is justice for their crimes. After working hard on my project proposal, I was surprised with an outright rejection with the justification that ‘the state of Minnesota abolished capital punishment in 1911.’
My project was cancelled, and the only memory of it that remains is a lingering sympathy with Sean Penn’s character. I am reminded of this movie and his character now as I survive under bombardment and siege in Gaza. I hear my prison wardens scream ‘dead man walking’ every day, every night. ‘I did not kill anyone!’ I want to scream back. My only crime to be Gazan and want to live. I wish wake up from my death row nightmare and no longer hear their whistling calls and exploding taunts.
Biko in Gaza Thursday 26th October 2023
As a teenager living under occupation, I used to follow the stories of people fighting for freedom around the world. Stories from South Africa always resonated with me, because I felt a strong kinship with people who suffered under systems of apartheid.
I distinctly remember reading the story of Steve Biko, a black South African anti-apartheid activist who was killed in prison in South Africa. The story, unfortunately, was short and concluded with Biko’s murder while still in jail. I was accompanied for years by the song Peter Gabriel wrote in memory of Biko’s life and legacy, and, at some point, I was able to watch the movie Cry Freedom that documented part of Steve Biko’s struggle against apartheid.
The last part of my connection to Biko’s story was the Truth and Reconciliation Testimony Session that involved the murderers of Biko. Like others, I struggled to accept truth in lieu of justice; however, while watching the testimonies and observing the reactions from Biko’s surviving family as they listened to his killers describe the murder of their beloved, I realized that truth is not less important than justice. I realized that the truth can provide relief; it can provide a sort of peace. Knowing the truth became important to me, too, and I became ready to give up the right of seeing or practicing justice in return for hearing and knowing the truth.
Truth became more important to me than anything else. I dreamt of meeting Desmond Tutu and speaking to him about why he came to the conclusion that the truth would reconcile people. I wanted to ask him what happens to people when they are allowed to hear the full disclosure of the truth.
My request to all of my friends who will survive the current genocide in Gaza is not to fight for justice only, but to consider the pursuit of truth for all the victims. We should demand to know from our killers: ‘Why were they killed? Why are you killing us?’
And for the growing number of children killed, I wish I could ask ‘what did you dream of last month? What did you dream of before you were killed?’
**The following letter was written by an anonymous mother who asked for my help to circulate. Samia.
Mr. Biden,
Perhaps I amone of the few who had hoped against hope that your arrival into the holy land today would make a difference. Perhaps this was not the case for those who have already passed, but definitely, would have for those who are still alive. I was shuddering after the horrific shelling of a Christian hospital reflecting videos of pieces of children and human bodies strewn all over the grounds. Ten days of relentless shelling on human beings, yes human beings mostly women and children who have no place to hide and no shelters to shield them. We were all awaiting anxiously for a statement form you as the media had described what happened yesterday as a “Game Changer.”
I watched you take on the presidencywith an emphasis on being a Christian Catholic president as you attended mass on your inauguration. I wonder if this is what your catholic upbringing has taught you Mr. Biden. Has it taught you that an eye for a body and tooth for a head, as an Arab PalestinianChrisitan catholic,I recall it differently I recall my catholic teachings calling for peace for justice for forgiveness for equity of all humankind.
Since when has war brought about Peace? since when has killing ended the cycle of violence, I am not a president neither am I in charge,but I am old enough to have heard the stories of my grandparents’ survival of the Ottoman period and my parents the British mandate as well as the ethnic cleansing in 1948. I am old enough to have witnessed the Palestiniandispossessionand violations of human rights since 1967,and old enough to have served in hospitals during shelling and witnessed the missing heads and limbs.
Old enough to have helped at the Anglican hospital that got shelled yesterday, topatch up the legs and limbs of a whole generation that was rendered disabled as Palestinians from Gaza tried to March to end thesiege. Old enough to see a generation of youth losing hope, and watching the transgenerational trauma continue; generations of women and mothers mourning loss and imprisonment of their loved ones.
As you are older than me Mr.Biden,and have personally sufferedloss, have you not seen that war only brings about more death and destruction and hate?
God grants life and takes away life, however it is how we have lived our life that makes a difference, if only you would have stood there on the 7th of October and said it differently, you might have made a difference for peace in this world. Once more today my optimism in life was crushed becausewhat is happening in Gaza is being described as crimes against humanity according to international law. Upon your arrival to the holy land,you decided to align yourself with those causing the suffering instead of doing what needs to bedone: uphold the conventions of human rights and hold all parties to count. We are not children of a lesser God Mr. President we are the Palestinian Christians of theholy land where the message of love peace and justice started, and we call upon you to stop this Genocide.
It has been a long time since I shared one of my Reflections with you. After all the tragic events of the last week, my daughter asked me if I had written anything. Actually I had not. And despite the many thoughts that crossed my mind, it seemed futile to make a difference to people who are still not aware of the reality of our situation. But I thought I might as well remind you all of some facts that will help you share with those who are still wondering “why?”
Neither Israel nor the International community should have been surprised at the recent events that hurt not only the Israelis, but also the Palestinians who are under Israeli siege in the Gaza Strip. It has been 75 years of dispossession for the Palestinians, and 56 years of a military occupation, 16 of them in an open-air prison for the people of Gaza, and two Palestinian uprisings. Over and above a failed peace process, called the Oslo Accords which Israel not only flouted, but abused, to create more realities on the ground and more settlements causing further dispossession of the Palestinians in whatever land was left for them on what is known as “the Palestinian Territories.”
The daily incursions by the settlers to the Mosque in Jerusalem under Israeli protection, as well as the continuous killings of young Palestinians in different parts of the West Bank, and the ongoing deprivation of the Palestinians of their farms, and their olive groves further exasperated the situation. Huwara and Jenin were only recent events not forgotten by the Palestinians. Furthermore the number of Palestinian prisoners is continuously on the rise, and some of them without charge or trial. Even a number of them who were supposed to be released with the signing of the Oslo Accords are still languishing in the Israeli jails.
Those 2.2 million oppressed people under siege are not “human animals” as they were called by Israel. They are actually humans who have been dehumanized, as if they were children of a 'lesser God' They have reached a tipping point and could not take the oppression and the deprivation of freedom anymore.
Had the USA, and the European countries implemented the United Nations Resolutions and stood up against all the violations of Israel ever since its creation in 1948, things would not have deteriorated to that extent. They watched them kill Palestinian children, raid homes in the middle of the night, demolish homes, and evacuate complete Palestinian areas for the establishment of Israeli settlements, with the maximum comment that those actions were not conducive to peace. But nobody had the guts to take action, not even when Israel demolished a school funded by the European Union. When the Israeli Prime Minister showed a map recently at the United Nations that had no Palestine in it, nobody even protested.
But now when the surprise news hit the world that Israelis were attacked and hurt, the US and the European countries who have been at the root cause of the Palestinian dispossession in the first place, came rushing to the region in support of Israel, an occupying force in the region. Ironically, they are the same countries who rushed to salvage Ukraine from the Russian occupation. Is one occupation permissible, while another is not? Enough is enough of double standards. And please do salvage the trapped Palestinians of Gaza who have been ordered by Israel to move out. Out to where? When all the borders are closed. The hospitals are not even safe. We just heard that Israel bombed the Ahli hospital, run by the Anglican church. We know many of you have been praying, but we need action. According to St. James, prayer without action is futile.
Bravo Mr. Biden: You really made a wonderful speech at the University of Lithuania during the NATO summit and in the presence of the Ukraine president Zelensky. He might have been a little disappointed as the decision for Ukraine to join NATO was deferred until after the end of the conflict with Russia. But you were very clear about your unwavering support of Ukraine against Russia’s invasion. You used words like “Never and Ever” should one forget the right of people to stand up against such an aggression, and you spoke about common values and the defense of Freedom.
All the rhetoric that you used was excellent and in accordance with human rights values. Yet the hypocrisy and the double standards were so glaring that it was pathetic especially that it was only a few days earlier that you had justified the Israeli invasion with the most sophisticated armament, on the Palestinian refugee camp and the city of Jenin as well as other towns like Huwara and Turmus Aya, as being “the right of Israel to defend itself”. Really Mr. Biden. Is this a joke? Or do you think the whole world is that dumb to believe that justification. Maybe they are , after all, when one of the most powerful countries in the world can get away with such a statement.
I wish you would address your own people Mr. Biden, assuring them that you would never ever allow an American citizen to be homeless and without medical care, while you continue to provide both Israel, an occupying power, and Ukraine, an occupied country, with the most sophisticated armament. Mr. Biden, charity starts at home!!!
Yesterday morning after breakfast. I stretched out on my reclining chair to relax a short while before getting ready for my shower, when a pigeon appeared on my window sill. What a beautiful starter for the day. Could it be carrying a message of peace after those crows that have been hovering all over our trees recently. I remember ever since I was a child a crow has been a bad omen. Even in Shakespeare’s Macbeth which we studied in high school, Lady Macbeth alludes to the raven as a bad omen. Well we saw enough brutality at the hands of the Israeli settlers, with the protection of the army in so many places, like Huwara, Jenin and Turmus Aya to confirm this bad omen. Will it ever stop?
And this morning we woke up again to another brutal raid on Jenin. I could not help but wonder, how many pigeons would we need to bring about peace to this devastated country? Will the Western world which had brought havoc to the Middle East ever take responsibility and atone for what it has done. They claim to be Christians, and they accuse Muslims of being terrorists. How ironic indeed. When we look back at the history of the Crusaders and the colonizers, and the role they played not only in tearing up the country, but in dividing its Christians into different denominations.
I had just finished reading a book “Small Things Like These” by Claire Keegan sent to me recently by an Irish friend. Towards the end of the book the hero in the story is shown accompanying a destitute girl to his home for Christmas and posing the following question: “Was there any point in being alive without helping one another? Was it possible to carry on along through all the years, the decades, through an entire life, without one being brave enough to go against what was there and yet call yourself a Christian, and face yourself in the mirror?” How sad that those so-called Christian countries cannot think of one good deed, Let alone have the guts to atone for all their crimes that have caused so much suffering and devastation in our region and other places as well. Over and above, the Bible continues to be used and abused to justify all the injustice that prevails in this so-called Holy Land. Until when, dear Lord? Until when?
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